Conversation #1

Me: “Are you going to wear that?”

Son: “Yes.”

Me: “Well, at least comb your hair.”

Son: “Why? We are just going to Wal-Mart.”

I fully expect to someday see his picture on the internet under the heading “The People of Wal-Mart.

* * *

Conversation #2

[Sound of crashing/spilling from upstairs . . . ]

Child 1: “Uh Oh!”

Wife: “What spilled up there?”

Child 2: “Toxic acid and we will all be dead in minutes.”

At least this way I won’t have to worry about seeing pictures of my kids on The People of Wal-Mart.