Kevin Stilley

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June 4, 2014 by kevinstilley

Marriage and Home book recommendations

Danny Akin, President of Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, has recommended the following books on Marriage and Home.  What do you think?  What changes would you make to the list?

Akin, Daniel L. God on Sex: The Creator’s Ideas about Love, Intimacy and Marriage from the Song of Songs. Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 2003.

Crabb, Lawrence J. The Marriage Builder: A Blueprint for Couples and Counselors. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1982.

Cutrer, William, and Sandra Glahn. When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden: Encouragement for Couples Facing Infertility. Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1997.

Dobson James. Parenting Isn’t for Cowards. Dallas: Word, 1987.

_______ . The New Dare to Discipline. Wheaton: Tyndale, 1992.

Harley, Williard F., Jr. His Needs, Her Needs. Reprint. Grand Rapids: Baker, 1994.

Lahaye, Tim and Beverly. The Act of Marriage. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1976.

Powlison, David. Seeing With New Eyes. Phillipsberg, N.J.: P & R, 2003.

Smalley, Gary, and John Trent. The Gift of the Blessing. upd. and exp. Nashville: Nelson, 1993.

Thomas, Gary. Sacred Marriage. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2002.

Tripp, Paul David. Shepherding a Child’s Heart. rev. ed. Wapwallopen, PA: Shepherd Press, 1998.

Wheat, Ed, and Gaye. Intended for Pleasure. rev. Grand Rapids: Baker, 1981.

Wright, H. Norman. Marital Counseling: A Biblically-Based Behavioral, Cognitive Approach. Denver: Christian Marriage Enrichment, 1981.

_______ . Pre-Marital Counseling. Chicago: Moody, 1977.

Filed Under: Blog, Books, Family, Theology Tagged With: bibliography, Book Recommendation, Daniel Akin, Family, home, Parenting, reading list, SEBTS, sex

October 20, 2013 by kevinstilley

Manhood, Fatherhood, and Marriage – book recommendations

In the book Teknon and the Champion Warriors, Brent Sapp recommends the following resources on manhood, fatherhood, and marriage. What do you think of his recommendations?

  • The Christian Husband, by Bob Lepine
  • A Father for All Seasons, by Bob Welch
  • Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart, by Stu Weber
  • Halftime, by Bob Buford
  • The Man in the Mirror, by Patrick Morley
  • “Mens Fraternity: A Journey Into Authentic Manhood”, an audio seriesby Robert Lewis
  • Point Man, by Steve Farrar
  • Temptations Men Face, by Tom Eisenman
  • Tender Warrior, by Stu Weber
  • Moments Together for Couples, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
  • The Mystery of Marriage, by Mike Mason
  • The New Building Your Mate’s Self Esteem, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
  • Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, by William Cutrer and Sandra Glahn
  • “The Song of Solomon” audio series by Tommy Nelson
  • Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It, by Jerry Jenkins
  • Different Children, Different Needs, by Charles F. Boyd
  • Parenting Today’s Adolescent, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
  • Passport to Purity, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
  • Raising a Modern Day Knight, by Robert Lewis

 

Filed Under: Blog, Books, Family Tagged With: Book Recommendations, fathers, marriage, Parenting

August 2, 2013 by kevinstilley

The Problem of Cute Kids

“This is how people can have a second or third kid, even though one is enough to kill you.  They’re occasionally cute enough to make you suicidal.”  Tres Navarre, a character in Rick Riordan’s book South Town.

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Filed Under: Blog, Family Circus Tagged With: kids, Parenting, Stilley

February 23, 2013 by kevinstilley

Fathers and Sons – select quotes

A man is not a man until his father says that he is.
~ Robert Lewis

Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.
~ General Douglas MacArthur

No man will ever rise above the opinion his children have of him.
~ Dennis Rainey

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.
~ Albert Schweitzer

Your son at five is your master, at ten your slave, at fifteen your double, and after that, your friend or your foe, depending on his bringing up.
~ Hasdai Ibn Shaprut

My father taught me how to be a man — and not by instilling in me a sense of machismo or an agenda of dominance. He taught me that a real man doesn’t take, he gives; he doesn’t use force, he uses logic; doesn’t play the role of trouble-maker, but rather, trouble-shooter; and most importantly, a real man is defined by what’s in his heart, not his pants.
~ Kevin Smith

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Filed Under: Blog, Family, Quotes Tagged With: fathers, Parenting, Quotes, Sons

January 9, 2013 by kevinstilley

Movies for Fathers and Sons

In the book Teknon and the Champion Warriors, Brent Sapp recommends the following movies for fathers and sons to watch and discuss together. What do you think of his recommendations? What would you add to his list?

  • Ben Hur (1959) G
  • Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde (1943) not rated
  • The Four Feathers (1939) not rated
  • High Noon (1952) not rated
  • The Robe (1953) not rated
  • Mr Smith Goes to Washington (1939) not rated
  • The Searchers (1956) not rated
  • Support Your Local Sheriff (1969) G
  • Ten Commandments (1956) G
  • Deep Impact (1998) PG-13
  • Hoosiers (1986) PG
  • Man From Snowy River (1982) PG
  • Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn (1982) PG
  • Apollo 13 (1995) PG-13
  • Chariot of Fire (1981) PG
  • The Hiding Place (1975)
  • Iron Will (1994) PG
  • October Sky (1999) PG
  • Rudy (1993) PG
  • Sergeant York (1941) not rated
  • The Spirit of St. Louis (1957) PG
  • Stanley and Livingston (1939) not rated

Filed Under: Blog, Family Tagged With: Family, film, Movies, Parenting, video

October 28, 2012 by kevinstilley

What Do You Think?

If you could take back something you said in the last year, what would it be?

Filed Under: Blog, What Do You Think? Tagged With: age, art, Blog, childhood, cinema, civilization, Culture, debate, earth, Eschatology, Evangelism, Family, fear, film, God, Heaven, hell, History, immortality, interests, Jesus, milieu, movie, painting, Parenting, past, phobia, physiology, talkshow, tatoo, teaching, television, variety show, What Do You Think?, Worldview

October 22, 2012 by kevinstilley

What is a Girl?

What Is A Girl?
by Alan Beck

Little girls are the nicest things that can happen to people. They are born with a bit of angel-shine about them, and though it wears thin sometimes, there is always enough left to lasso your heart—even when they are sitting in the mud, or crying temperamental tears, or parading up the street in Mother’s best clothes.

A little girl can be sweeter (and badder) oftener than anyone else in the world. She can jitter around, and stomp, and make funny noises that frazzle your nerves, yet just when you open your mouth, she stands there demure with that special look in her eyes. A girl is Innocence playing in the mud, Beauty standing on its head, and Motherhood dragging a doll by the foot.

God borrows from many creatures to make a little girl. He uses the song of a bird, the squeal of a pig, the stubbornness of a mule, the antics of a monkey, the spryness of a grasshopper, the curiosity of a cat, the speed of a gazelle, the slyness of a fox, the softness of a kitten, and to top it all off He adds the mysterious mind of a woman.

A little girl likes new shoes, party dresses, small animals, first grade, noisemakers, the girl next door, dolls, make-believe, dancing lessons, ice cream, kitchens, coloring books, make-up, cans of water, going visiting, tea parties, and one boy. She doesn’t care so much for visitors, boys in general, large dogs, hand-me-downs, straight chairs, vegetables, snowsuits, or staying in the front yard.

She is loudest when you are thinking, the prettiest when she has provoked you, the busiest at bedtime, the quietest when you want to show her off, and the most flirtatious when she absolutely must not get the best of you again. Who else can cause you more grief, joy, irritation, satisfaction, embarrassment, and genuine delight than this combination of Eve, Salome, and Florence Nightingale.

She can muss up your home, your hair, and your dignity—spend your money, your time, and your patience—and just when your temper is ready to crack, her sunshine peeks through and you’ve lost again.

Yes, she is a nerve-wracking nuisance, just a noisy bundle of mischief. But when your dreams tumble down and the world is a mess—when it seems you are pretty much of a fool after all—she can make you a king when she climbs on your knee and whispers, “I love you best of all!”

Filed Under: Blog, Family Tagged With: Family, Girls, love, Parenting

June 10, 2012 by kevinstilley

Parenting 101 – select quotes

parenting

Click on image

Associations and sympathy have far more influence with children, than argument or reasoning. Or rather, we might almost say, associations and sympathy have all the influence, and argument none at all… If you have no sympathy with [your children’s] childish feelings, you can gain no sympathy in their hearts for the sentiments and principles you may endeavor to inculcate upon them. If, however, you can secure their affection and sympathy, your power over them is almost unbounded. They will believe whatever you tell them, and adopt the principles and feelings you express, simply because they are yours. They will catch the very tone of your voice, and expression of your countenance, and reflect spontaneously, the moral image, whatever it may be, which your character may hold up before them.
~ Jacob Abbott

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
~ Erma Bombeck

Parents are not interested in justice, they are interested in quiet.
~ Bill Cosby

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
~ Phyllis Diller

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.
~ King Edward VII

The reason you want your kids to pay attention in school is you haven’t the faintest idea how to do their homework.
~ Babs Bell Hajdusiewicz

Nurses nurse
and teachers teach
and tailors mend
and preachers preach
and barbers trim
and chauffeurs haul
and parents get to do it all.
~ Babs Bell Hajdusiewicz

An advantage of having one child is you always know who did it.
~ Babs Bell Hajdusiewicz

Parenting — not politics, not the classroom, not the laboratory, not even the pulpit — is the place of greatest influence.
~ Kent and Barbara Hughes

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they’re going to catch you in next.
~ Franklin P. Jones

A torn jacket is soon mended, but hard words bruise the heart of a child.
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Our children are being raised by appliances.
~ Bill Moyers

Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you’re 12, but every day.
~ Mike Myers

Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.
~ Robert Orben

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
~ Robert Orben

I was doing the family grocery shopping accompanied by two children, an event I hope to see included in the Olympics in the near future.
~ Anna Quindlen

Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.
~ Ray Romano

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them.
~ Rita Rudner

Parents, if you love your children, do all that lies in your power to train them up to a habit of prayer. Show them how to begin. Tell them what to say. Encourage them to persevere. Remind them if they become careless and slack about it. Let it not be your fault, at any rate, if they never call on the name of the Lord.
~ John Ryle, in The Duties of Parents

Love should be the silver thread that runs through all your conduct. Kindness, gentleness, long-suffering, forbearance, patience, sympathy, a willingness to enter into childish troubles, a readiness to take part in childish joys, — these are the cords by which a child may be led most easily, — these are the clues you must follow if you would ind the way to his heart.
~ J.C. Ryle

Parents, do you wish to see your children happy? Take care, then, that you train them to obey when they are spoken to, –to do as they are bid…. Teach them to obey while young, or else they will be fretting against God all their lives long, and wear themselves out with the vain idea of being independent of His control.
~ J. C. Ryle

A man cannot leave a better legacy to the world than a well-educated family.
~ Thomas Scott

Each new generation born is in effect an invasion of civilization by little barbarians, who must be civilized before it is too late.
~ Thomas Sowell

Train up a child in the way he should go–but be sure you go that way yourself.
~ Charles Spurgeon

An evil upbringing in the home is worse than the wars of God and Magog.
~ Talmud, Berakot, 7

He who teaches his son is as if he had taught his son, his son’s son, and so on to the end of all generations.
~ Talmud, Kiddushin, 30

Do not threaten a child.  Either punish or forgive him.
~ Talmud, Semahot, 2, 6

Hardly anything can be more important in the mental training of a child than the bringing him to do it in its proper time, whether he enjoys it or not. The measure of a child’s ability to do this becomes, in the long run, the measure of his practical efficiency in whatever sphere of life he labors.
~ ~ H. Clay Trumbull, in Hints on Child Training

No parent ought to punish a child except with a view to the child’s good. And in order to do good to a child through his punishment, a parent must religiously refrain from punishing him while angry.
~ H. Clay Trumbull, in Hints on Child Training

Parents: A peculiar group who first try to get their children to walk and talk, and then try to get them to sit down and shut up.
~ Wagster’s Dictionary of Humor and Wit

Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.
~ John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester

I’ve got two wonderful children — and two out of five isn’t too bad.
~ Henry Youngman

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
~ Unknown

Filed Under: Blog, Family, Quotes Tagged With: babysitting, Blog, childbirth, childraising, children, discipline, Family, love, marriage, parenthood, Parenting, pregnancy, Quotes

April 17, 2011 by kevinstilley

Bent Tree Father-Son Retreat

Click on thumbnails to enlarge images.


































Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Bent Tree, fathers, Parenting, Sons

April 11, 2011 by kevinstilley

Talmud — Discussion Questions

Everyman’s Talmud: The Major Teachings of the Rabbinic Sages, by Abraham Cohen

Are men and women equal? (page 159)

Why are women free from the “Thou shalts” of the Torah? (p. 159)

How important is a woman to the formation of her children? (page 160)

–          Is there a passage in the NT that seems to draw upon this tradition?

How important is a woman to the formation of her husband? (page 160)

How does some rabbinic teaching describe women?  (page 160-161)

For what two reasons was it allowed to sell a scroll of the Torah?  (page 162)

A girl ceased to be a minor at the age of 12.  Marriage was recommended for a male at 18.  We marry later than did those in the ancient world, specifically in Jewish families (page 162).  Are we wiser than they?

How many wives does the Talmud allow?  (page 166)

Did the Talmud allow divorce?  (pages 166-167)

–          See also Ezra 9, 10 if needed

Filed Under: Blog, Books, Philosophy, Theology Tagged With: marriage, Parenting, talmud, Torah, women

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