Kevin Stilley

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October 20, 2013 by kevinstilley

Manhood, Fatherhood, and Marriage – book recommendations

In the book Teknon and the Champion Warriors, Brent Sapp recommends the following resources on manhood, fatherhood, and marriage. What do you think of his recommendations?

  • The Christian Husband, by Bob Lepine
  • A Father for All Seasons, by Bob Welch
  • Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart, by Stu Weber
  • Halftime, by Bob Buford
  • The Man in the Mirror, by Patrick Morley
  • “Mens Fraternity: A Journey Into Authentic Manhood”, an audio seriesby Robert Lewis
  • Point Man, by Steve Farrar
  • Temptations Men Face, by Tom Eisenman
  • Tender Warrior, by Stu Weber
  • Moments Together for Couples, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
  • The Mystery of Marriage, by Mike Mason
  • The New Building Your Mate’s Self Esteem, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
  • Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, by William Cutrer and Sandra Glahn
  • “The Song of Solomon” audio series by Tommy Nelson
  • Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It, by Jerry Jenkins
  • Different Children, Different Needs, by Charles F. Boyd
  • Parenting Today’s Adolescent, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
  • Passport to Purity, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
  • Raising a Modern Day Knight, by Robert Lewis

 

Filed Under: Blog, Books, Family Tagged With: Book Recommendations, fathers, marriage, Parenting

September 14, 2013 by kevinstilley

Marriage – select quotes

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One man has never married, and that’s his hell; another is, and that’s his plague.
~ Robert Burton, in The Anatomy of Melancholy

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
~ G. K. Chesterton

Every woman should marry, and no man.
~ Benjamin Disraeli, in Lothair

Vitium uxoris aut tollendum aut ferendum est. Qui tollit vitium, uxorem commodiorem praestat; qui fert, sese meliorem facit. [A wife’s faults must either be corrected or put up with. Who corrects the faults, makes his wife more pleasant; who puts up with them, makes himself a better man.]
~ Lucius Afranius, in Satirae Menippeae, De Officio mariti

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.
~ Jeff Foxworthy

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

The institution of marriage makes a parasite of woman, an absolute dependent. It incapacitates her for life’s struggle, annihilates her social consciousness, paralyzes her imagination, and then imposes its gracious protection, which is in reality a snare, a travesty on human character.
~ Emma Goldman

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
~ Ruth Bell Graham

Once a man’s married he’s absolutely bitched.
~ Ernest Hemingway, in The Three-Day Blow

A good marriage is when you’re married not to someone you can live with, but to someone you really cannot live without.
~ Dr. Howard Hendricks

Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.
~ Elbert Hubbard

I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married.
~ Jared Kintz

Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sin.
~ Laozi

Marriage–a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
~ Beverly Nichols

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
~ Rita Rudner

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?
~ Barbra Streisand

If you want to become more like Jesus, I can’t imagine any better thing to do than to get married.
~ Gary Thomas

Yes, your spouse might be difficult to love at times, but that’s what marriage is for–to teach us how to love.
~ Gary Thomas

That is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life.
~ Paul Tournier

One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do. Two can be as bad as one. It’s the loneliest number since the number one…
~ Three Dog Night

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
~ Henry Youngman

__________

Related Content

  • Octopus in Love
  • Navajo Marriage Wisdom
  • Test the Strength of Your Marriage

__________

Filed Under: Blog, Family, Front Page, Quotes Tagged With: Blog, bride, Christian wedding, God, groom, love, marriage, Quotes, relationships, wedding

June 10, 2012 by kevinstilley

Parenting 101 – select quotes

parenting

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Associations and sympathy have far more influence with children, than argument or reasoning. Or rather, we might almost say, associations and sympathy have all the influence, and argument none at all… If you have no sympathy with [your children’s] childish feelings, you can gain no sympathy in their hearts for the sentiments and principles you may endeavor to inculcate upon them. If, however, you can secure their affection and sympathy, your power over them is almost unbounded. They will believe whatever you tell them, and adopt the principles and feelings you express, simply because they are yours. They will catch the very tone of your voice, and expression of your countenance, and reflect spontaneously, the moral image, whatever it may be, which your character may hold up before them.
~ Jacob Abbott

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
~ Erma Bombeck

Parents are not interested in justice, they are interested in quiet.
~ Bill Cosby

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
~ Phyllis Diller

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.
~ King Edward VII

The reason you want your kids to pay attention in school is you haven’t the faintest idea how to do their homework.
~ Babs Bell Hajdusiewicz

Nurses nurse
and teachers teach
and tailors mend
and preachers preach
and barbers trim
and chauffeurs haul
and parents get to do it all.
~ Babs Bell Hajdusiewicz

An advantage of having one child is you always know who did it.
~ Babs Bell Hajdusiewicz

Parenting — not politics, not the classroom, not the laboratory, not even the pulpit — is the place of greatest influence.
~ Kent and Barbara Hughes

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they’re going to catch you in next.
~ Franklin P. Jones

A torn jacket is soon mended, but hard words bruise the heart of a child.
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Our children are being raised by appliances.
~ Bill Moyers

Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you’re 12, but every day.
~ Mike Myers

Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.
~ Robert Orben

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
~ Robert Orben

I was doing the family grocery shopping accompanied by two children, an event I hope to see included in the Olympics in the near future.
~ Anna Quindlen

Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.
~ Ray Romano

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them.
~ Rita Rudner

Parents, if you love your children, do all that lies in your power to train them up to a habit of prayer. Show them how to begin. Tell them what to say. Encourage them to persevere. Remind them if they become careless and slack about it. Let it not be your fault, at any rate, if they never call on the name of the Lord.
~ John Ryle, in The Duties of Parents

Love should be the silver thread that runs through all your conduct. Kindness, gentleness, long-suffering, forbearance, patience, sympathy, a willingness to enter into childish troubles, a readiness to take part in childish joys, — these are the cords by which a child may be led most easily, — these are the clues you must follow if you would ind the way to his heart.
~ J.C. Ryle

Parents, do you wish to see your children happy? Take care, then, that you train them to obey when they are spoken to, –to do as they are bid…. Teach them to obey while young, or else they will be fretting against God all their lives long, and wear themselves out with the vain idea of being independent of His control.
~ J. C. Ryle

A man cannot leave a better legacy to the world than a well-educated family.
~ Thomas Scott

Each new generation born is in effect an invasion of civilization by little barbarians, who must be civilized before it is too late.
~ Thomas Sowell

Train up a child in the way he should go–but be sure you go that way yourself.
~ Charles Spurgeon

An evil upbringing in the home is worse than the wars of God and Magog.
~ Talmud, Berakot, 7

He who teaches his son is as if he had taught his son, his son’s son, and so on to the end of all generations.
~ Talmud, Kiddushin, 30

Do not threaten a child.  Either punish or forgive him.
~ Talmud, Semahot, 2, 6

Hardly anything can be more important in the mental training of a child than the bringing him to do it in its proper time, whether he enjoys it or not. The measure of a child’s ability to do this becomes, in the long run, the measure of his practical efficiency in whatever sphere of life he labors.
~ ~ H. Clay Trumbull, in Hints on Child Training

No parent ought to punish a child except with a view to the child’s good. And in order to do good to a child through his punishment, a parent must religiously refrain from punishing him while angry.
~ H. Clay Trumbull, in Hints on Child Training

Parents: A peculiar group who first try to get their children to walk and talk, and then try to get them to sit down and shut up.
~ Wagster’s Dictionary of Humor and Wit

Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.
~ John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester

I’ve got two wonderful children — and two out of five isn’t too bad.
~ Henry Youngman

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
~ Unknown

Filed Under: Blog, Family, Quotes Tagged With: babysitting, Blog, childbirth, childraising, children, discipline, Family, love, marriage, parenthood, Parenting, pregnancy, Quotes

April 11, 2011 by kevinstilley

Talmud — Discussion Questions

Everyman’s Talmud: The Major Teachings of the Rabbinic Sages, by Abraham Cohen

Are men and women equal? (page 159)

Why are women free from the “Thou shalts” of the Torah? (p. 159)

How important is a woman to the formation of her children? (page 160)

–          Is there a passage in the NT that seems to draw upon this tradition?

How important is a woman to the formation of her husband? (page 160)

How does some rabbinic teaching describe women?  (page 160-161)

For what two reasons was it allowed to sell a scroll of the Torah?  (page 162)

A girl ceased to be a minor at the age of 12.  Marriage was recommended for a male at 18.  We marry later than did those in the ancient world, specifically in Jewish families (page 162).  Are we wiser than they?

How many wives does the Talmud allow?  (page 166)

Did the Talmud allow divorce?  (pages 166-167)

–          See also Ezra 9, 10 if needed

Filed Under: Blog, Books, Philosophy, Theology Tagged With: marriage, Parenting, talmud, Torah, women

December 28, 2009 by kevinstilley

Looking For Resolutions?

At the beginning of 2009 I made note of the following resolutions suggested by Sally Albright and share them with you now for possible inclusion in your list as you prepare for the new year.

Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions for Couples

#10: Exercise Together
Exercising together as a couple can make getting more exercise fun, and you and your spouse can truly have a “healthy” relationship.

#9: Cook Together
Cooking dinner together is a great way to spend time together.

#8: Play Games Together
Take the time to have some fun with your spouse by playing games together — especially in the colder winter months.

#7: The Little Things
Sometimes, it’s the littlest of things that really matter. Something as simple as setting the coffee machine to brew in the morning or opening the car door for your spouse can really show how much you care.

#6: Get Romantic
The types of romantic gestures you do really depends on what your spouse considers to be romantic, whether it be bouquets of flowers or cuddling together and watching a football game on TV.

#5: Listening
Truly listen. Keep in mind that your spouse isn’t always in search for answers and may not want to receive advice. They just want your ears all to themselves.

#4: Fewer Arguments
Make a New Year’s resolution to argue less.  Pick your battles wisely. Most importantly, learn to compromise.

#3: Compliments
Taking the time to compliment your spouse shows them that you do still love them, you appreciate them, and you still find them attractive.  Surprise your loved one with compliments during appropriate times, such as when they dress up for a dinner out, do a job well done, or the way they handled your child’s misbehavior.

#2: Dates
A little alone time with your spouse can be all that you need to feel reconnected with them.  Having a special date night at the end of the week can give you and your loved one something to look forward to.


#1: Saying I Love You

Say it often, say it with meaning.  A simple I Love You can melt someone’s heart.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Family, marriage, relationships, resolutions

November 7, 2009 by kevinstilley

Marriage Relationship

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

__________

Related Content

  • I Do Again: How We Found a Second Chance at Our Marriage–and You Can Too
  • Marriage Studies

__________

Book Cover

Filed Under: Blog, Family Tagged With: marriage, Marriage and Family, marriage counseling

August 24, 2009 by kevinstilley

Pop Quiz

What did Albert Einstein, Edgar Allen Poe, H.G. Wells, Charles Darwin, and Queen Victoria all have in common, matrimonially speaking?

(see the comment section below for the answer)

Filed Under: Blog, Pop Quiz, Trivia Tagged With: marriage, Pop Quiz

April 24, 2009 by kevinstilley

Test The Strength of Your Marriage

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Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.

When you open the trunk, which one is happiest to see you?

Filed Under: Blog, Front Page, Graffiti, Humor, Theology Tagged With: dogs, love, marriage, Marriage and Family, marriage counseling, relationships

September 28, 2008 by kevinstilley

Wedding Music

Looking for wedding music? In the Minister’s Marriage Manual, Samuel Ward Hutton offers the following suggestions;

ORGAN MUSIC

Johann Sebastian Bach – “Prelude in G Major”
Johann Sebastian Back – “Fugue from the Tocatta and Fugue in C”
Alexandre Guilmant – “Nuptial March in E Major”
Alexandre Guilmant – “Postlude Nuptiale”

VOCAL MUSIC

Johann Sebastian Bach – “My Hear Ever Faithful” (from the Petecost Cantata)
Roberta Bitgood – “The Greatest of These Is Love”
Jennie Prince Black – “The Pledge”
D.S. Blomfield and Oscar Fox – “O Perfect Love”
Ernest Charles – “Love Is of God”
Roland Diggle – “A Wedding Prayer”
Vern Glasgo Dunlap – “Wedding Prayer”
Charles Francois Gounod – “Entreat Me Not to Leave Thee”
Rena Silverman Lesser – “God Bless This Day”
Austin Lovelace – “We Lift Our Hearts to Thee”
Austin Lovelace – “A Wedding Benediction”
Albert Hay Malotte – “The Lord’s Prayer”

HYMNS

“Jesus, Thou Joy of Loving Hearts”
“O Perfect Love”
“O Happy Home, Where Thou Art Loved the Dearest”
“Now Thank We All Our God”
“O Father, Thou Who Givest All”
“Let the Whole Creation Cry”
“Bless the Four Corners of This House”

What music did you use in your wedding?

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Blog, Brides, Ceremonies, marriage, Music, weddings

September 27, 2008 by kevinstilley

Premarital Counseling Questions

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In the Minister’s Marriage Manual, Samuel Ward Hutton offers the following questions as some of those he uses when performing premarital counseling.  I am not overly impressed with them, and have a few that I would like to add.  However, before doing so, I know that there are many readers of this blog who do premarital counseling (and a few married folk who probably have ideas).  What questions would you add to the following list?

How long have you two known each other?

For what period of time have you been  engaged?

Have either of you been engaged before?

What interests  do you  have in common?

What is your attitude toward your future inlaws?

Will both of you work, or only one?

What will the combined income be?

Have you  considered working out a budget of expenses in keeping with your total income?

Do you plan to rent, or will you attempt to buy a home?

Which of you will control the purse strings?

Is either of  you inclined to be extravagant or a “tight wad”?

Do you plan to open one or more charge accounts?

What is your attitude toward children?

Have you had any arguments?

Do  either or both of you have quick tempers?

What recreation can you both enjoy?

How will you face discouragement or elation?

Are there any particular problems that bother you?

Are you deeply in love with one another?

What is the church background of each of you?

If you come from different faiths, what are your plans for agreement?

Have you considered asking a blessing on the food before each meal?

What has been your experience and practice in prayer?

Have you carried a responsibility in your local church, such  as leading a youth group, teaching in the church school or singing in choir?

Some have found a brief devotional at the breakfast table helpful.  Would this be a practice you are open to?

What are your reading habits?

Filed Under: Blog, Pastoral Care Tagged With: Blog, bride, counseling, etiquette, groom, marital counseling, marriage, marriage counseling, minister, Preachers & Preaching, premaritial counseling, wedding

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