Kevin Stilley

  • Home
  • Blog Posts
  • On the Air
  • Quotes
  • Site Archive

November 11, 2012 by kevinstilley

Are you listening?

“The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for brethren is learning to listen to them. It is God’s love for us that He not only gives us His Word but also lends us His ear. So it is His work that we do for our brother when we learn to listen to him. Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.

“Many people are looking for an ear that will listen. They do not find it among Christians, because these Christians are talking when they should be listening. But he who can no longer listen to his brother will soon no longer be listening to God either; he will be doing nothing but prattle in the presence of God too. This is the beginning of the death of the spiritual life, and in the end there is nothing left but spiritual chatter and clerical condescension arrayed in pious words. One who cannot listen long and patiently will presently be talking beside the point and be never really speaking to others, albeit he be not conscious of it. Anyone who thinks that his time is too valuable to spend keeping quiet will eventually have no time for God and his brother, but only for himself and for his own follies.”

~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, pages 97-98

___________

“Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach, for it is pleasing when you keep them in your heart and have all of them ready on your lips. So that your trust may be in the LORD, I teach you today, even you.” Proverbs 22:17-19

Filed Under: Blog, Church Leadership, Communication, Ecclesiology, Evangelism, Missions, Pastoral Care, Preaching / Teaching Tagged With: Bonhoeffer, Communication, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, listening, Silence

October 21, 2012 by kevinstilley

Effective Communication – select quotes

What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.
~ Strother Martin playing the Captain in the movie Cool Hand Luke

This communicating of a man’s self to his friend works two contrary effects, for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.
~ Francis Bacon

It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.”
~ Yogi Berra

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
~ Ambrose Bierce

Self-expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment.
~ Pearl S. Buck

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
~ Carl W. Buechner

Two monologues do not make a dialogue.
~ Jeff Daly

One can say everything best over a meal.
~ George Eliot in Adam Bede

The eloquent man is he who is no beautiful speaker, but who is inwardly and desperately drunk with a certain belief.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choicest words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech.
~ Edwin H. Friedman

Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much.
~ Robert Greenleaf

It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.
~ Garrison Keillor.

I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.
~ Larry King

Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.
~ Rudyard Kipling

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Information is giving out; communication is getting through.
~ John C. Maxwell

No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately.
~ Montaigne

“And people laugh at me because I use big words. But if you have big ideas you have to use big words to express them, haven’t you?”
~ Anne in L.M. Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables

As a performer there’s nothing better than moments where you feel that you have the option—within the given text—to do exactly as you want, where you’re not worried about what you look like or whether you’ve warmed up enough. You just seem to be involved in a pure expression which is completely appropriate.
~ Mark Morris in “Marvelous Mark Morris,” BBC Music Magazine, special issue, Ballet from Ritual to Romance (1996), page 64

When you forget yourself and your fear, when you get beyond self-consciousness because your mind is thinking bout what you are trying to communicate, you become a better communicator.
~ Peggy Noonan, in Simply Speaking (NY: HarperCollins, 1998), page 8

One kind word can warm three winter months.
~ Japanese proverb

The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.
~ Rachel Naomi Remen

Brevity is the soul of wit.
~ William Shakespeare

He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.
~ William Shakespeare in Love’s Labour’s Lost

The silence often of pure innocence
Persuades when speaking fails.
~ William Shakespeare in The Winter’s Tale

Remember that you are a human being with a soul and the divine gift of articulate speech: that your native language is the language of Shakespeare and Milton and The Bible; and don’t sit there crooning like a bilious pigeon.
~ Character in George Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion

The greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.
~ George Bernard Shaw

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
~ Mark Twain

If I am to speak ten minutes, I need a week for preparation; if fifteen minutes, three days; if half an hour, two days; if an hour, I am ready now.
~ Woodrow Wilson

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in picture of silver.
~ Bible, Proverbs 25:11

How lovely on the mountains Are the feet of him who brings good news, Who announces peace And brings good news of happiness, Who announces salvation, And says to Zion, “Your God reigns!”
~ Bible, Isaiah 52:7

__________

RELATED CONTENT

  • Words about Words
  • Persuasion and Pedagogy
  • Creativity
  • Twitter, Facebook and Evolving Communications

__________

Book Cover

(click on image)

.

Filed Under: Blog, Front Page, Preaching / Teaching Tagged With: Blog, Communication, listening, Quotes, rhetoric, speach, syntax, words, Writing

November 30, 2008 by kevinstilley

Listening – select quotes

Were we as eloquent as angels, yet we should please some men, some women, and some children much more by listening, than by talking.
~ C.C. Colton, Lacon, No. 13

Many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request.
~ Phillip Stanhope, Earl of Chesterfield

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Blog, Communication, listening, Quotes, relationships

May 27, 2008 by kevinstilley

Not Noticing

When Ken Blanchard asked Hall of Fame football coach Don Shula what he wanted on his epitaph, Shula replied that he wanted to be remembered as never having been guilty of “not noticing.”

As my children grow in number as well as size I’m afraid that I may be guilty all too often of “not noticing.”  Do I notice the stick figure drawings that they pour their hearts into and post on the refrigerator?  Do I notice enough of the details to genuinely praise them for their efforts?  Do I notice which are their favorite toys?  Do I notice when they add new words to their vocabulary?  How much do I really notice?

I have often said that the most important thing we can learn about interpersonal relationships from Jesus of Nazareth is that he always treated the person in front of him as if that person was the most important person in the world.  No one could ever accuse him “not noticing”.  Zachaeus in his tree, the man born blind, the little children that surrounded him — Jesus noticed them, and treated them as if they were the most important people in the world.

If I plan on making this a model for my own life, maybe the best place for me to practice is in my own home.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: attention, awareness, Christ, Communication, Don Shula, interpersonal, Jesus, Ken Blanchard, listening, Nazareth, Praxis, relationships

Recent Blog Posts

  • Discussion Questions for “The Language of God”
  • Billy Graham knew where he was going
  • Interesting quotes from “The Impeachment of Abraham Lincoln” by Stephen L. Carter
  • The Bible – select quotes
  • America’s Christian Heritage
  • Christian Involvement In Politics
  • Freedom – select quotes
  • Kevin Stilley on For Christ and Culture Radio
  • Early Western Civilization classroom resources
  • Early Western Civilization Final Exam

Currently Reading

Frankenstein

Twitter Feed

Tweets by @kevinstilley

Connect With Me On Twitter

Follow_me_on_Twitter

Connect With Me On Facebook

Receive My Monthly Newsletter


Copyright © 2023 · Executive Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in