I previously published a few definitions from Abrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary . Here are a few more that Willard Espy makes note of in The Game of Words.

ALONE, in bad company.

BIGOT, one obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion you do not entertain.

BRUTE, see husband.

EGOTIST, a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

HANDKERCHIEF, a small square of silk or linen used at funerals to
conceal a lack of tears.

LOVE, a temporary insanity curable by marriage.

MARRIAGE, a master, a minstress and two slaves, making in all,
two.

MEEKNESS, uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worthwhile.

ONCE, enough.

OPPOSITION, in politics the party that prevents the government from
running amuck by hamstringing it.

OPTIMIST, a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

POLITENESS, acceptable hyprocrisy.

POSITIVE, mistaken at the top of one’s voice.

SAINT, a dead sinner revised and edited.

TRICHINOSIS, the pig’s reply to pork chops.

VIRTUES, certain abstentions.