The following question was sent to me and several friends with whom I work;
“Need a good book recommendation for a girl who struggles with self-consciousness and knowing who she is in Christ…suggestions? Should be an easy read please.”
Here are some of the answers provided by the other recipients;
What books would you have recommended?
What is normal when it comes to grief and loss? There isn’t really a “normal”. However, the document at the link below might help you understand some of what to expect.
I have been accused by several friends and acquaintances of being anti-intellectual (I can’t win), and also of being “against psychiatrists.” I don’t really think I am. That would be as silly as being “against dentists” or “against barbers.” I do think that psychiatry is still a very young science, not unlike surgery when the surgeons were barbers. If you absolutely had to have a leg amputated in the seventeenth century, you went to a barber; you didn’t rush to him for a scratch. I’ve seen psychiatry save and redeem. I’ve also seen people going year after year to psychiatrists or therapists and growing steadily more self-centered. Most of us like being the center of the universe; no wonder these people don’t want to give up their bi-weekly sessions.
~ Madeleine L’Engle, in A Circle of Quiet
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RELATED
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In the Minister’s Marriage Manual, Samuel Ward Hutton
How long have you two known each other?
For what period of time have you been engaged?
Have either of you been engaged before?
What interests do you have in common?
What is your attitude toward your future inlaws?
Will both of you work, or only one?
What will the combined income be?
Have you considered working out a budget of expenses in keeping with your total income?
Do you plan to rent, or will you attempt to buy a home?
Which of you will control the purse strings?
Is either of you inclined to be extravagant or a “tight wad”?
Do you plan to open one or more charge accounts?
What is your attitude toward children?
Have you had any arguments?
Do either or both of you have quick tempers?
What recreation can you both enjoy?
How will you face discouragement or elation?
Are there any particular problems that bother you?
Are you deeply in love with one another?
What is the church background of each of you?
If you come from different faiths, what are your plans for agreement?
Have you considered asking a blessing on the food before each meal?
What has been your experience and practice in prayer?
Have you carried a responsibility in your local church, such as leading a youth group, teaching in the church school or singing in choir?
Some have found a brief devotional at the breakfast table helpful. Would this be a practice you are open to?
What are your reading habits?
The following books are required reading in the course “Family Issues In Christian Perspective” taught by Roc Bottomly, at Focus on the Family Institute.
Anderson, N. T. (2000). The bondage breaker. Eugene, OR: Harvest House.
Anderson, N. T. (1996). The steps to freedom in Christ. Ventura, CA: Gospel Light.
Arterburn. S. (1998). How will I tell my mother? Nashville: Nelson.
Burkett, L. (1989). The complete financial guide for young couples. Colorado Springs, CO: Victor.
Carroll, Bruce. (1999) Sometimes miracles hide. Howard Publishing.
Chapman, G. (1992). The five love languages. Chicago, IL: Northfield.
Cloud, Henry. (1995). The mom factor. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
Dallas, J. (1991). Desires in conflict. Eugene, OR: Harvest House.
Dayton, H. (1996). Your money counts. Gainesville, GA: Crown Financial Ministries.
Dillow, L. & Pintus, L. (2002). Gift-wrapped by God. Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook.
Dobson, J. (2001). Bringing up boys. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale
Dobson, J. (1983). Love must be tough. Dallas: Word.
Dobson, J. (1989) Preparing for adolescence. Regal Books.
Dobson, J. (1992). The new dare to discipline. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale.
Dobson, J. (1995). The new hide and seek. Fleming Revell Company.
Eggerichs, E. (2004). Love and respect. Nashville, TN: Integrity
Elliot, E. (1984). Passion and purity. Grand Rapids, MI: Revell.
Haley, M. (2004). 101 Frequently asked questions about homosexuality. Eugene, OR:
Harvest House.
Hunt, M. (1996). The financially confident woman. Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman.
Lucado, Max. (1997). You are special. Wheaton, IL: Crossway.
McGee, R. (1993). Father hunger. Ann Arbor, MI: Servant.
Parrott, L., & Parrott, L. (1995). Saving your marriage before it starts. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
Parrott, L., & Parrott, L. (1998). Getting ready for the wedding. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
Penner, C., & Penner, J. (1994). Getting your sex life off to a great start. Dallas: Word.
Reisser, P. (1997) Complete baby and childcare. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale.
Seamands, D. A. (1981). Healing for damaged emotions. Wheaton, IL: Victor.
Stanley, S., Trathum, D., McCain, S., & Bryan, M. (1998). A lasting promise. San Francisco: Josey-Bass.
Thomas, G. (2000). Sacred marriage. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
Winner, L.F. (2005). Real sex: the naked truth about chastity. Grand Rapids, MI: Brazo Press.
Wolgemuth, R. and B. & Devries, M. and S. (2003). The most important year in a
woman’s/man’s life. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
The syllabus describes the course as follows – – –
DESCRIPTION:
The purpose of this course is to equip students with personal strategies for promoting healthy families, by specifically focusing on marriage, parenting, and the sanctity of all human life. Students will be exposed to typical issues that most spouses and parents are forced to confront as they attempt to establish healthy marriages and families. Biblical teachings, existing research, and current popular techniques will be reviewed, with the goal of aiding each student in their development of a personal strategy for dealing with these areas whenever confronted by them.
GENERAL OBJECTIVES:
1. To further enhance students’ understanding of the value of children.
2. To help students reflect upon the role that their parents had in shaping their current understanding of truth and love.
3. To help students develop a personalized strategy for conveying truth and love as a parent.
4. To further enhance students’ respect for the sanctity of all human life.
5. To equip students to build a lasting marriage by helping them to…
• Understand God’s design for marriage.
• Recognize the difficulties all couples must overcome to build a lasting marriage.
• Build strong connection in marriage.
• Prepare responsibly for marriage.
TOPICS:
• Family of origin
• Family influences and homosexuality
• Parenting and child discipline
• Parenting and self-esteem
• Parenting teens
• Spiritual training of children
• Divorce’s impact on children
• Parenting disabled children
• Marriage purposes
• Marriages responsibilities
• Gender differences
• Personality differences
• Effects of Supernatural evil
• Effects of Past damage
• Communication
• Conflict resolution
• Money management
• Sexual intimacy
• Mate selection
• Courtship and engagement
• Wedding, honeymoon and first year world
I plead guilty. Like most preachers I don’t do as good a job as I could of keeping my family’s life private. My wife and kids appear as characters in far too many of my sermon illustrations (and blog posts). It is tough enough to live in a glass house without your husband / father exposing you further. I heard one pastor say that he always asks his family members for permission before including them in a narrative. That is probably good advice.
And, now for those of you who just don’t get it, here is an educational video:
