One man has never married, and that’s his hell; another is, and that’s his plague.
~ Robert Burton, in The Anatomy of Melancholy
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
~ G. K. Chesterton
Every woman should marry, and no man.
~ Benjamin Disraeli, in Lothair
Vitium uxoris aut tollendum aut ferendum est. Qui tollit vitium, uxorem commodiorem praestat; qui fert, sese meliorem facit. [A wife’s faults must either be corrected or put up with. Who corrects the faults, makes his wife more pleasant; who puts up with them, makes himself a better man.]
~ Lucius Afranius, in Satirae Menippeae, De Officio mariti
Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.
~ Jeff Foxworthy
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
The institution of marriage makes a parasite of woman, an absolute dependent. It incapacitates her for life’s struggle, annihilates her social consciousness, paralyzes her imagination, and then imposes its gracious protection, which is in reality a snare, a travesty on human character.
~ Emma Goldman
A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
~ Ruth Bell Graham
Once a man’s married he’s absolutely bitched.
~ Ernest Hemingway, in The Three-Day Blow
A good marriage is when you’re married not to someone you can live with, but to someone you really cannot live without.
~ Dr. Howard Hendricks
Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.
~ Elbert Hubbard
I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married.
~ Jared Kintz
Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sin.
Marriage–a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
~ Beverly Nichols
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
~ Rita Rudner
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?
~ Barbra Streisand
If you want to become more like Jesus, I can’t imagine any better thing to do than to get married.
~ Gary Thomas
Yes, your spouse might be difficult to love at times, but that’s what marriage is for–to teach us how to love.
~ Gary Thomas
That is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life.
~ Paul Tournier
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do. Two can be as bad as one. It’s the loneliest number since the number one…
~ Three Dog Night
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
~ Henry Youngman