One man has never married, and that’s his hell; another is, and that’s his plague.
~ Robert Burton, in The Anatomy of Melancholy
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
~ G. K. Chesterton
Every woman should marry, and no man.
~ Benjamin Disraeli, in Lothair
Vitium uxoris aut tollendum aut ferendum est. Qui tollit vitium, uxorem commodiorem praestat; qui fert, sese meliorem facit. [A wife’s faults must either be corrected or put up with. Who corrects the faults, makes his wife more pleasant; who puts up with them, makes himself a better man.]
~ Lucius Afranius, in Satirae Menippeae, De Officio mariti
Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.
~ Jeff Foxworthy
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
The institution of marriage makes a parasite of woman, an absolute dependent. It incapacitates her for life’s struggle, annihilates her social consciousness, paralyzes her imagination, and then imposes its gracious protection, which is in reality a snare, a travesty on human character.
~ Emma Goldman
A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
~ Ruth Bell Graham
Once a man’s married he’s absolutely bitched.
~ Ernest Hemingway, in The Three-Day Blow
A good marriage is when you’re married not to someone you can live with, but to someone you really cannot live without.
~ Dr. Howard Hendricks
Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.
~ Elbert Hubbard
I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married.
~ Jared Kintz
Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sin.
~ Laozi
Marriage–a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
~ Beverly Nichols
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
~ Rita Rudner
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?
~ Barbra Streisand
If you want to become more like Jesus, I can’t imagine any better thing to do than to get married.
~ Gary Thomas
Yes, your spouse might be difficult to love at times, but that’s what marriage is for–to teach us how to love.
~ Gary Thomas
That is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life.
~ Paul Tournier
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do. Two can be as bad as one. It’s the loneliest number since the number one…
~ Three Dog Night
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
~ Henry Youngman
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