Kevin Stilley

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July 9, 2009 by kevinstilley

Everyone Needs Someone To Love Them

Book Cover

The below story is excerpted from The Wit and Wisdom of Joe Brumbelow: Favorite Illustrations, Personal Stories, Humor, History, Folklore, and Lessons Learned from Over 50 Years in the Ministry. I believe the practical wisdom found in the pages of this book to be very beneficial for those engaged in ministry and heartily recommend it.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Then, members of Doverside started a Bible club. They began the club in the pastor’s back yard that was at the back of the church property. Later they moved into the Fellowship Hall. Most of the children from the apartments were from broken homes. some had real behavioral problems. Discipline often was necessary. Sometimes a child or two had to be sent home.

One day, as the kids waited in line to go inside, Joe saw a little boy go over to a little girl and kick here in the leg so hard she fell to the ground in tears. Joe grabbed the little boy and gave him a talking to. He spoke so sternly, the boy began to cry. Joe, seeing his tears, then gave him a big hug. He told him that he loved him, but he could not allow that kind of behavior.

Another little fellow saw the first boy kick the girl. He saw the preacher grab him, shake him, and rebuke him. Then he saw the preacher give the boy a big hug and tell him that he loved him. “So help me,” Brother Joe said, “that little fellow went over and kicked the same girl. That second boy was saying, ‘I want to be loved, too. I want somebody to hug me, too.’ The preacher then went throught he same routine with the second boy. Joe said, “It was difficult on the little girl, but I got the message. Everyone out there needs someone to love them.”

Filed Under: Blog, Church Leadership, Pastoral Care Tagged With: children, Children's Ministry, love, Parenting, Pastoral Care

August 13, 2008 by kevinstilley

Family Resource Recommendations From Bent Tree Bible Fellowship

The Children’s Ministry at Bent Tree Bible Fellowship has recommended the following family resources:

Family Resources

Parenting

Revolutionary Parenting, by George Barna , 2007, Tyndale House publishers. What does it take to raise a modern-day spiritual champion? If you’re like most parents, you think you’re doing an okay job – and you probably believe you’re doing better than most. But if your goal is to raise kids with a life-impacting faith, that may not be good enough. Determined to learn the secrets of those who’ve raised spiritual champions, world-renowned researcher George Barna conducted a series of surveys and thousands of personal interviews with both young adults and their parents. In the process, he was able to uncover a number of common denominators to parenting success. Some of his findings will encourage you; others will surprise you. But be forewarned – raising a spiritual champion takes Revolutionary Parenting.

The Parent’s Handbook, by Don Dinkmeyer, Sr., Gary D. McKay, and Don Dinkmeyer, Jr. Circle Pines, MN: American Guidance Service, Inc., 1997. STEP (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting) provides a practical approach to raising children. The Parent’s Handbook is a guide to the philosophy of child training that the authors and more than three million parents have found to be effective. Skills learned can serve as guidelines in building a happy home.

Parenting Your 1- to 4-Year Old, by Michael H. Popkin. Active Parenting Publishers. This book teaches parents basic development stages from ages one to four, non-violent discipline skills, problem-prevention techniques, encouragement skills, the importance of a child’s self-esteem, and parental self-care.

The Five Love Languages for Children, by D. Chapman, Ross Campbell, 1997. Loving our children isn’t always enough. Learning to speak their love language communicates your love in ways they’ll understand right from the start. Unconditional love is something all children can understand. The Five Love Languages of Children can help you make your child feel secure, loved and more willing and open to interact with you and your family.

Boundaries with Kids, by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend, 2001, Zondervan Publishing. To help their children grow into healthy adults, parents need to teach them how to take responsibility for their behavior, their values, and their lives. The authors of the Boundaries bring their biblically based principles to bear on the challenging task of child rearing, showing parents: how to bring control to an out-of-control family life; how to set limits and still be loving parents; how to define legitimate boundaries for the family; how to install in children a godly character.

Raising Great Kids, by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend, 2000, Zondervan Publishing House, What does it take to raise great kids? Show acceptance. Lay down the rules. Lighten up, already. There’s got to be a balance-and there is. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you provide the care and acceptance that make grace real to your kids, and firmness and discipline that give direction. At last, here is an effective middle ground for raising your children to handle life with maturity and wisdom.

Positive Discipline for Preschoolers, by Jane Nelsen, Cheryl Erwin, Carol Delzer 2007, Crown Publishing group. Caring for young children is one of the most challenging tasks an adult will ever face. No matter how much you love your child, there will be moments filled with frustration, anger, and even desperation. There will also be questions: Why does my four-year-old deliberately lie to me? Why won’t my three-year-old listen to me? Should I ever spank my preschooler when she is disobedient? Over the years, millions of parents just like you have come to trust the Positive Discipline series and its commonsense approach to child-rearing.

Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-indulgent World, by Dr. Stephen Glenn and Jane Nelsen, 2000, Three Rivers Press, New York, New York. This book starts with a discussion of the changes from an agrarian society to the current city/suburban society and what impact those changes have had on childrearing practices. The historical perspective of the need for children in our society and current views regarding families not only make sense, they also help us to explain why those practices have led us to try to “do it all” for our children and how that can make a child feel less reliant and self-worthy.

Positive Discipline, by Jane Nelsen, 1996, The Random House Publishing Group. All parents try to do their best—but the best of intentions don’t always produce the best results. Dr. Jane Nelsen, an experienced psychologist, educator, and mother, believes that children misbehave when they feel thwarted in their need to belong and in their need for love and attention. An authoritative approach, using phrases like “Because I said so!”, will only lead to rebellious behavior. Instead, parents need basic principles that bring them and their children closer. They need Positive Discipline. Dr. Jane Nelsen explains that parents who use kindness and firmness to teach life skills will encourage self-respect, self-discipline, cooperation, good behavior, and problem-solving skills in their children.

Positive Discipline for Single Parents, by Jane Nelsen, 1999, Prima Publishing. As a single parent in our complex world, you face the challenge of doing alone a job that was meant for two people. In addition, self-doubt and guilt may dampen the joy you experience raising your child. What do you do? You’ll learn how to succeed as a single parent in the most important job of your life: raising a child who is responsible, respectful, and resourceful.

Parenting Teenagers, by Don Dinkmeyer and Gary D. McKay. Circle Pines, MN: American Guidance Service, Inc., 1990. Based on the successful and updated STEP /Teen program, this book provides practical, usable insights into parent-teen relations. This program and book help parents with everyday problems like messy rooms, moods, and meals as well as complex issues of drug use, sex, gangs, and depression.

Spiritual Growth

Talking to Your Child about God, by David Heller. New York, NY: The Berkley Publishing Group, 1994. David Heller explains how children form their perceptions of God, religion, and their place in the world and offers advice on how parents can instill strong values and create a caring, open environment for discussions about life’s most important issues.

Family: The Forming Center, by Marjorie J. Thompson. Nashville, TN: Upper Room Books, 1996. This book is a “must-read” for all persons–pastors, educators, resource persons, and parents concerned with the spiritual formation of children, particularly spiritual formation within the home. It offers options for developing spiritual disciplines within the family, devotes an entire chapter to family rituals and celebrations, and contains an annotated bibliography.

Hand in Hand: Growing Spiritually with Our Children, by Sue Downing. Nashville, TN: Discipleship Resources, 1998. Designed to help parents raise their children as Christian disciples, this book contains ideas, suggestions, and hands-on activities to help pa
rents and children make prayer a vital part of life, make Bible reading fun, participate in the faith community, appreciate and explore God’s world, develop faith traditions, and deal with crisis times in their lives.

20 Teachable Virtues: Practical Ways to Pass on Lessons of Virtue and Character to Your Children, by Barbara C. Unell and Jerry L. Wyckoff. New York, NY: The Berkley Publishing Group, 1995. In this book you’ll find practical ways of teaching children how to learn to live in society and to balance their personal wants against the needs of the social group.

Beginning A Journey, by Betty McLaney. Louisville, KY: Presbyterian Publishing House, 1994. This resource, filled with stories from real children and parents on their journey of faith, offers new parents an understanding of how to successfully bring up their children in the faith.

Children and Prayer: A Shared Pilgrimage, by Betty Shannon Cloyd. Nashville, TN: Upper Room Books, 1997. This comprehensive guide about how children relate to God provides concepts for teaching children about prayer and includes prayers written by children and prayers that caregivers can pray with children.

Creative Grandparenting: How to Love and Nurture a New Generation, by Jerry and Jack Schreur with Judy and Leslie Schreur. Grand Rapids, MI: Discovery House Publishers, 1992. Along with grandchildren come questions: How much responsibility can I assume without overstepping my bounds? What can I do to encourage them while they are in school? What should I do when they encounter illness or disability or divorce? This book addresses these and many other questions with a variety of practical, creative suggestions.

Face to Face with God in Your Home: Guiding Children and Youth in Prayer, by Carolyn Luetje and Meg Marcrander. Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Fortress, 1995. This concise and highly readable handbook will guide and energize church leaders who want to help parents and other adults pray with children.

Growing Together: Understanding and Nurturing Your Child’s Faith Journey, by Anne Neufeld Rupp. Newton, KS: Faith and Life Press, 1996. In this book Anne Neufeld Rupp shows parents how to nurture the emotional, moral, and spiritual growth of their children. Included are many opportunities for children to actively encounter God’s love and teaching and a large collection of seasonal and family celebrations.

How Do Our Children Grow?: Introducing Children to God, Jesus, the Bible, Prayer, Church (revised edition), by Delia Halverson. St. Louis, MO: Chalice Press, 1999. In this update of her book, Delia Halverson offers parents, caregivers, and educators solid, practical ways to introduce children and young people to the Christian faith. A study guide is included at the end of the book.

Joining Children on the Spiritual Journey: Nurturing a Life of Faith, by Catherine Stonehouse. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 1998. This book shows how the spiritual life of a child develops and how caring parents and teachers can enhance this development. Stonehouse begins with a biblical perspective, recognizing the crucial role of both parents and faith community. She concludes her book with guidelines for designing children’s ministries.

Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions, by George Barna, 1999, Gospel Light Publishing. Based on original research among children, parents and churches, George Barna reveals his discoveries about the significance of ministry to children – and what is required to help them become transformed for Christ. In addition to describing why ministry to young people may be the single most strategic ministry activity, he outlines what children need to become spiritual champions, how parents can provide such nurture, and the appropriate role of the local church in this developmental process. Whether you are a parent of a young child, a youth worker, a pastor or someone who wants to better understand how to maximize ministry effectiveness, Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions will point you in the right direction.

Face to Face with God in Your Home: Guiding Children and Youth in Prayer, by Carolyn Luetje and Meg Marcrander. Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Fortress, 1995. This concise and highly readable handbook will guide and energize church leaders who want to help parents and other adults pray with children.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Children's Ministry, Parenting

July 13, 2008 by kevinstilley

Audio – Shepherding A Child’s Heart

Audio CD

Shepherding a Child’s Heart Audio Book on CD
Written & Read by Tedd Tripp

List: $35.00 … WTS $22.40

“Dr. Tripp’s material on parenting is the clearest, most biblically framed, and most helpful that I have ever encountered. It has become the backbone of my own parenting.”
Ed Welch, WTS faculty & author of Running Scared

More info »

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Audio Books, Children's Ministry, Parenting

July 13, 2008 by kevinstilley

The Book Tree: A Christian Reference for Children’s Literature

“In a day and age when reading good books has never been of greater need for our children, parents and teachers owe Elizabeth McCallum and Jane Scott a deep debt of gratitude for the wonderful service they have provided by compiling this updated second edition of their book. It is a mandatory companion for any home or school.”
— Patch Blakey, Executive Director, The Association of Classical & Christian Schools


Publishers Desription:
Once upon a time, a carpenter entered a forest and happened upon a wolf wearing a feathered cap. Quick, whose side are you on? If you don’t know, then keep reading. Stories provide a roadmap for life. This is because stories are life. But oftentimes it’s easiest to understand where we are when we can look through other eyes—from the perspective of someone else, living somewhere else, somewhen else.

If you thought you knew The Book Tree, think again. Jane and Elizabeth have updated this charming book with over 100 new book reviews, and whimsical illustrations from recommended titles are scattered throughout. New formatting and four indexes (title, author, illustrator, and subject) make it easier than ever to browse for that next well-worn favorite.

For those beginning to read for the first time or those beginning to read again, The Book Tree will drop golden apples in your lap, until you can climb high enough to pick for yourself.

____________

RELATED BOOKS

Book Cover Book Cover

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Children's Ministry, Parenting

June 18, 2008 by kevinstilley

Family Life Studies

The following books are required reading in the course Family Life Studies taught by Sheryl DeWitt, at Focus on the Family Institute.

Arterburn, S. (2000). Every man’s battle. Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook Press.

Arterburn, S. (1998). How will I tell my mother? Nashville, TN: Nelson.

Carroll, Bruce. (1999), Sometimes miracles hide. Howard Publishing.

Clark, Jeramy. (2000), I gave dating a chance. Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook Press.

Cloud H. (1995). The mom factor. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

Dallas, J. (1991). Desires in conflict. Eugene, OR: Harvest House.

Dobson, J. (2001). Bringing up boys. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale.

Dobson, J. (1983). Love must be tough. Dallas, TX: Word.

Dobson, J. (1984). The strong willed child. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale

Dobson, J. (1989). Preparing for adolescence. Regal Books.

Dobson, J. (1992). The new dare to discipline. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale,

Dobson, J. (1995). Life on the edge. Dallas, TX: Word.

Dobson, J. The new hide and seek. Fleming Revell Company.

Focus on the Family, (1997). Beyond Appearances. Colorado Springs, CO.

Harris, J. (1997). I kissed dating goodbye. Oregon: Multnomah Books.

Haley, M. (2003). 101 Questions about homosexuality,

Hunter, Lynda (1997). Parenting on your own. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

Jantz, G. (1995). Hope, help and healing for eating disorders. Wheaton, IL: Harold Shaw Publishers.

Lucado, Max. (1997) You are special. Wheaton, IL: Crossway.

McDowell, J. and Hostetler, Bob. (1998) The new tolerance. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale.

McGee, R. (1993). Father hunger. Ann Arbor, MI: Servant.

McGee, R. (2005). Search for significance. Houston, TX: Rapha

Nelson, T, (1998). The book of romance. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson.

Reisser, P. (1997). Complete baby and childcare. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale.

The syllabus describes the course as follows – – –

DESCRIPTION:

It has been said that a culture’s health can be measured by the ways in which it treats its children. The purpose of this course, therefore, is to enhance students’ appreciation of the value of children, and the sanctity of human life. Students will be exposed to typical problematic issues that most parents are forced to confront as they attempt to raise healthy children. Additionally, students will be exposed to the principles that life is sacred, unique, broken, beautiful, and deserving of love and truth. Biblical teachings, existing research, and current popular techniques will be reviewed, with the goal of aiding each student in their development of a personal strategy for dealing with problematic parenting areas.

GENERAL OBJECTIVES:

1. To further enhance students’ understanding of the value of children.
2. To help students reflect upon the role that their parents had in shaping their
current understanding of truth and love.
3. To help students develop a personalized strategy for conveying truth and love
as a parent.
4. To help students develop a strategy for dealing with potential parenting
problems.

TOPICS:

• Family of origin
• Parenting and child discipline
• Family planning
• Children and self-esteem
• Children and education
• Parenting teens
• Teen issues
• Teen addictions
• Singleness
• Dating
• Divorce and single parenting
• Disabilities
• Homosexuality

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Children's Ministry, Marriage and Family, Parenting

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