Kevin Stilley

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Kevin Stilley on For Christ and Culture Radio

I am a frequent contributor to the For Christ and Culture radio program hosted by Barry Creamer daily on KCBI radio FM 90.9.

Here are links to some of the shows on which I have appeared.

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Define your terms, please.

Allow me to share with you the story of an old fashioned lady, quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language.

She and her husband were planning a vacation so she wrote to a campground for reservations. She wanted to make sure it was fully equipped, but didn’t know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She didn’t want to write ‘toilet’ in her letter. After much deliberation she though of the old fashioned term ‘bathroom commode’ but when she read the letter she had written she was still uncomfortable with the straightforward language. So she rewrote the letter and abbreviated bathroom commode to B.C. “Does the campground have it’s own B.C.?” she wrote.

Well, the campground owner wasn’t old fashioned at all and when he got the letter he couldn’t figure out what she was talking about. The B.C. business really stumped him. After worrying about it for awhile he showed the letter to some of the campers. Many of the campers were Baptists, and they were certain that the lady must be inquiring about the location of the local Baptist Church. So, the campground owner sat down and wrote the following reply.

Dear Madam,

I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure of informing you that the B.C. is located six miles north of the campground. It is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I will admit that it is quite a distance away, if your in the habit of going regularly. But no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches and make a day of it.
They usually arrive early and stay late. The last time my wife and I went was 6 years ago, and it was so crowded that we had to stand up the whole time. Right now there is a supper planned to raise money for more seats. It will be held in the basement of the B.C. I would like to say tht it pains me that I am not able to attend regularly, but it is not for the lack of desire on my part. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather.
If you decide to come down to the campgrounds, perhaps I could go with you the first time, sit with you, and introduce you to all the folks.
Remember that this is a friendly community.

If two parties are using the same terms in different ways what do you have? Confusion.

Medieval scholastics had a Latin phrase that was almost a motto for them. “When there is confusion, make a distinction.”

How many of you have read the dialogues of Plato? What is the first thing that Socrates always did in his effort to arrive at understanding?  – He forced those involved in the discussion to define their terms.  “What is justice?  Don’t give me examples of justice, define it.”

How many of you have been involved in dialogue with other faiths?  Do they use the same theological vocabulary as you? Yes. Does it mean the same thing? Probably not.

As a religious leader, guarding your flock, you must make sure that you have defined your faith for them and that your flock understands the language games that are played in the theological marketplace of ideas.

Are you a follower of Jesus Christ?  Really?  What does that mean?

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Jesus Died In Texas

My daughter was four years old and being put to bed by my wife.  My little princess began her regular nightly practice of asking theological questions. My son did this when he was her age, because he learned that it was a good way to milk extra minutes before having to go to sleep. Our daughters questions seemed to be more genuine, but given the depravity of man, who knows.

“Mom, why did Jesus die in Texas.”

“Baby, he didn’t die in Texas. Why would you think that?”

“Because when you prayed you said he died in our place. Isn’t Texas our place?”

It made me think of a story that my mother used to tell. She had been to a Vacation Bible School clinic and one of the seminar leaders had told them that they needed to be very careful with the language they used with children. According to this worker, when you sing that Zachaeus was a wee little man and hold your hands about 10 inches apart, children think that Zachaeus was about 10 inches tall. “Phaw.” My mother wasn’t going to believe that nonsense, and told the worker that.

One week later, we were at a Wednesday night prayer meeting and I was coloring in a coloring book.

“Mom, what color is the devil.”

“Kevin, there is no devil in your coloring book.”

“Yes there is.”

“Here, let me see that . . . . . Kevin, that isn’t the devil, that is a fox.”

And I began to sing to her, “The devil is a sly old fox, if I could catch him, I’d put him in a box.”

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Why I Usually Followback on Twitter

I received an email from a friend wanting to know why I was following a particular person on Twitter.  His  question was simply “Seriously?”  It wasn’t the first time I have received such questions / comments, so let me explain.

Everyone uses Twitter differently. Some use it to follow a few select individuals in their career field, others follow only family members and close friends, others follow anyone that posts interesting material, etc.  The uses of Twitter vary greatly, so it is best not to assume that others have the same purpose for their Twitter account that you have for yours.

I USUALLY FOLLOWBACK FOR THE PURPOSE OF EVANGELISM & MINISTRY

About a year ago I decided to use Twitter primarily as an evangelism and ministry tool.  I still use Twitter to engage friends and family, but usually utilize Facebook for maintaining and nurturing those relationships. Given that my primary purpose for Twitter is evangelism and ministry, I usually followback most of those who follow me, including at times some pretty unsavory characters

When Jesus heard this, He told them, “Those who are well don’t need a doctor, but the sick do need one. I didn’t come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Mark 2:17)

Have I seen any results by shifting my focus to evangelism and ministry?  Yes.  In the last year I have conversed with two separate individuals who were contemplating suicide, I have had the opportunity to share Christ and his plan of salvation with several individuals (including one in a land where we have difficulty sending missionaries), have received feedback that someone was returning to church after a long absence, and had many other such ministry encounters.  I am encouraged by such engagements.

I USUALLY FOLLOWBACK FOR THE SAKE OF RELATIONSHIPS

About the same time that I made the change of focus above, I overheard a conversation in the student center at the college in which I teach.  It went something like this:

Student A: “I have been following Professor X on Twitter and commenting on his posts, but he won’t follow me back.”

Student B: “He follows me.”

Student A: “I guess I didn’t make the cut.”

This wasn’t the first time that I heard conversations where people expressed disappointment that their pastor, professor, colleague, or (you fill in the blank) wouldn’t follow them. I do not want to give anyone the impression that they somehow didn’t make the cut — better to followback.

I USUALLY FOLLOWBACK FOR THE SAKE OF COURTESY

I have served on staff in one of the largest churches of America; people knew me that I did not know. I have been teaching at the college level for more than twenty years; my memories of many of those students have begun to fade away.  I value these people and other acquaintances even though I cannot always recall their names or the nature of our relationship.  I want to make sure the door is open to facilitate communication if they desire to reconnect, so I usually followback.

WHY I FOLLOWBACK FOREIGN LANGUAGE TWITTER ACCOUNTS 

Related to the above point, at this time in my life I have thousands of former students, missions contacts, and friends for whom English is not their primary language.  I regret that I do not remember them all but do not want to give the appearance of rudeness by failing to followback when they follow me on Twitter. Additionally, I pastor a church in a multi-ethnic community where people often seek to make some connection to the church before actually attending. So, I usually followback foreign language accounts, even if I don’t know what they are saying.

I FOLLOWBACK TO GET FEEDBACK ON MY WRITING

I no longer allow comments on my website articles.  I made that decision for a number of reasons that I won’t go into here.  However, I enjoy getting feedback from my readers and Twitter is a good way for my readers to interact with me.  I have a diverse community of website readers and Twitter is a good way for them to reach out to me. So, I usually followback on Twitter.

BUT, BUT, BUT…

Aren’t I running the risk of giving the wrong impression by following some shady characters? Sure, but I would rather have that happen than fail to show courtesy to a former student or someone I met on the mission field.  I would rather run that risk than miss out on connecting with someone who is open to the gospel and seeking a connection to Christ’s church.

DON’T YOU END UP FOLLOWING MORE PEOPLE THAN YOU CAN REALLY “FOLLOW”?

Doesn’t following that many people become unmanageable?

I use various Twitter applications to differentiate close friends and family in order to follow their contributions to Twitter more closely than others.  It is also easy to establish Lists in Twitter to catalog your contacts by interest (church, politics, school, etc).

So, I usually followback,

but there are some reasons that I choose NOT to do so.

REASONS I REFRAIN FROM FOLLOWING A TWITTER ACCOUNT

  1. I do NOT follow Twitter accounts that are “Private” unless I know the account holder personally.
  2. I do NOT follow Twitter accounts that appear to be published by bots.  Why bother?
  3. I do NOT follow Twitter accounts that have depictions of violence or seem to advocate violence.
  4. I follow lots of people who have a different worldview from my own, and who express ideas with which I disagree.  It is part of the conversation. But I do NOT follow those accounts that are being used primarily to promote things with which I strongly disagree.  I don’t want to subject myself to their endless promotional materials.
  5. I do NOT follow Twitter accounts that use profanity.  I simply don’t want to have those words in my head.
  6. I do NOT follow Twitter accounts that have any form of nudity in their profile picture, cover photo, or timeline.
  7. I do NOT  follow Twitter accounts that have pictures of guys without shirts.  Dude, really?  There are lots of different reasons why you might want to show off your chest and abs — none of them good.
  8. I do NOT follow Twitter accounts that “favorite”  or retweet the content that I mention above.  When you favorite it, I end up seeing it.

Well, that is some of my reasoning for following back. Why not tweet me a note about what you think of my choice?


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Evangelism Book Recommendations

What are your favorite books on evangelism?  Here are what some others are recommending.

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Danny Akin

Danny Akin, President of Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, has recommended the following books on Evangelism and Church Growth.

  • Abraham, William J. The Logic of Evangelism. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1989.
  • Coleman, Robert E. The Master Plan of Evangelism. rev. ed. Grand Rapids: Revell, 1993.
  • Green, Michael. Evangelism in the Early Church. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1970.
  • Little, Paul E. How to Give Away Your Faith. Downers Grove: IVP, 1966.
  • Malphurs, Aubrey. Planting Growing Churches for the 21st Century. Grand Rapids: Baker, 1992.
  • McGavran, Donald. Understanding Church Growth. 3rd ed., rev. and ed. by Peter Wagner. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1990.
  • Packer, J.I. Evangelism and the Sovereignity of God. Downers Grove: IVP, 1961.
  • Rainer, Thom S. The Book of Church Growth: History, Theology, and Principles. Nashville: Broadman, 1993.
  • _______. Effective Evangelistic Churches. Nashville: Broadman, 1996.
  • _______. Suprising Insights from the Unchurched and Proven Ways to Reach Them. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2001.
  • _______. The Unchurched Next Door. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2003.
  • _______. Good to Great Churches. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2004.
  • Reid, Alvin. Introduction to Evangelism. Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1998.
  • _______. Radically Unchurched: Who They Are and How to Reach Them. Grand Rapids: Kregel, 2002.
  • Streett, R. Alan. The Effective Invitation. Old Tappan, NJ: Revell, 1984.
  • Wagner, C. Peter. Church Growth and the Whole Gospel: A Biblical Mandate. San Francisco: Harper, 1981.

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Grace Baptist Church

Grace Baptist Church of Cape Coral, Florida (pastored by Tom Ascol) shares on its website the following list of recommended books on Evangelism.

  • Tell the Truth: A Training Manual on the Message and Methods of God-Centered Witnessing by Will Metzger
  • God-Centered Evangelism by R.B. Kuiper
  • The Soul Winner by Charles Spurgeon
  • Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God by J.I. Packer
  • A Pastor’s Sketches (2 vol.) by Ichabod Spencer
  • The Gospel and Personal Evangelism by Mark Dever
  • The Heart of Evangelism by Jerram Barrs
  • Questioning Evangelism: Engaging People’s Hearts the Way Jesus Did by Randy Newman
  • Puritan Evangelism: A Biblical Approach by Joel Beeke
  • A Sure Guide to Heaven by Joseph Alleine
  • Today’s Evangelism: Its Message and Methods by Ernest Reisinger

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9Marks

The following titles on EVANGELISM are included in the 9Marks reading list for pastors:

  • The Gospel Blimp, Joe Bayly
  • Tell The Truth, Will Metzer
  • Revival and Revivalism, Iain Murray
  • Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God, J.I.Packer
  • Speaking of Jesus, J.Mack Stiles
  • Christianity Explained (Workbook)Scripture Union

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Founders Study Center

The following texts are being used in the Founders Study Center for their course on Evangelism and the Excellencies of God.

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Reformed Theological Seminary

Reformed Theological Seminary lists the following Evangelism and Missions books on its Recommended Reading list for prospective students.

  • Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God, J.I. Packer
  • Right With God, John Blanchard Powerful
  • Evangelism for the Powerless, C. John Miller
  • Tell the Truth, Will Metzger
  • Let the Nations Be Glad, John Piper
  • Christian Mission, John Stott
  • An Introduction to the Science of Missions, J. Herman Bavink
  • The Pastor-Evangelist: Preacher, Model, and Mobilizer for Church Growth, Roger Greenway
  • Telling the Truth: Evangelizing Postmoderns, D.A. Carson
  • The Gospel in a Pluralistic Society, Lesslie Newbigin
  • Missionary Methods: St. Paul’s or Ours?, Allen Rolland
  • Perspectives on the World Christian Movevment, Ralph Winter
  • Mission in the Old Testament, Walter Kaiser
  • Gospel and Mission in the Writings of St. Paul, Peter T. O’Brien
  • God’s Missionary People, Charles Van Engen
  • A Heart for Mission: Five Pioneer Thinkers, Ron Davies
  • What In the World is God Doing?, C. Gordon Olson

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J.D. Greear

And, the following are from the Recommended Reading list of J.D. Greear.

  • Between Heaven and Hell: A Dialog Somewhere Beyond Death with John F. Kennedy, C. S. Lewis & Aldous Huxley, by Peter Kreeft
  • Christianity for Modern Pagans: Pascal’s Pensees, by Peter Kreeft
  • The Radical Reformission: Reaching Out without Selling Out, by Mark Driscoll
  • Socrates Meets Jesus: History’s Greatest Questioner Confronts the Claims of Christ, by Peter Kreeft
  • Becoming A Contagious Christian, by Bill Hybels and Mark Mittelberg
  • Questioning Evangelism, by Randy Newman
  • Tell the Truth: The Whole Gospel to the Whole Person, by Will Metzger

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Prose or Poetry?

I love this exchange from Molier’s play The Bourgeois Gentleman . Monsieur Jourdain is requesting help from a more educated man, a philosopher, in composing a love letter. The philosopher asks if Jourdain would like the letter to be written in prose or poetry. “I wish it written neither in prose nor verse,” Jourdai replies. Upon learning that all writing is either one or the other the following exchange takes place.

“And when one speaks, what is that?”

“That is prose, Monsier.”

“What! When I say, ‘Nicole, bring me my slippers, and give me my nightcap’; is that prose?

“Yes, Monsieur.”

“Well, well, well! To think that for more than forty years I have been speaking prose, and didn’t know a thing about it. I am very much obliged to you for having taught me this.”

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Are you listening?

“The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for brethren is learning to listen to them. It is God’s love for us that He not only gives us His Word but also lends us His ear. So it is His work that we do for our brother when we learn to listen to him. Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.

“Many people are looking for an ear that will listen. They do not find it among Christians, because these Christians are talking when they should be listening. But he who can no longer listen to his brother will soon no longer be listening to God either; he will be doing nothing but prattle in the presence of God too. This is the beginning of the death of the spiritual life, and in the end there is nothing left but spiritual chatter and clerical condescension arrayed in pious words. One who cannot listen long and patiently will presently be talking beside the point and be never really speaking to others, albeit he be not conscious of it. Anyone who thinks that his time is too valuable to spend keeping quiet will eventually have no time for God and his brother, but only for himself and for his own follies.”

~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, pages 97-98

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“Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach, for it is pleasing when you keep them in your heart and have all of them ready on your lips. So that your trust may be in the LORD, I teach you today, even you.” Proverbs 22:17-19

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Rhetoric – select quotes

Rhetoric completes the tools of learning. Dialectic zeros in on the logic of things, of particular systems of thought or subjects. Rhetoric takes the next grand step and brings all these subjects together into one whole.
~ William Blake

The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choicest words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech.
~ Edwin H. Friedman

The passions are the only orators who always convince. They have a kind of natural art with infallible rules; and the most untutored man filled with passion is more persuasive than the most eloquent without.
~ Francois, duc de La Rochefoucauld

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Yogi Berra – select quotes

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.

Half the lies people tell me aren’t true.

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

It ain’t over till it’s over.

It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.

Ninety-nine percent of this game is half mental.

No wonder nobody comes here–it’s too crowded.

You can see a lot by looking.

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Half Full or Half Empty?

Consider the following account,

“… one study had college students form two lines, go into rooms with people pouring water into glasses. In one room the experimenters said “Please drink this half full glass of water.” In the other room, “Please drink this half empty glass of water.” Of course, the glasses contained exactly the same amount of water.

“Now comes the interesting part. The groups then entered another room where they were asked if they wanted more water. Yup, no half full or half empty just would you like more water.

“Anyone want to guess the outcome? I’ll bet most of you were right. The “half empty” contingent was thirstier than the “half full” folks.” (Source: Sylvia Lafair)

Do you think that there is anything that leaders can gain from this study when it comes to communication strategy?

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